CONSUME ME

CONSUME ME:  

 I flirted with the idea of love again,

 and you caught my desire in your hands and as I laid back into what I thought would not be,

you brought my fears to a close and made love to me so softly and so perfectly,

maybe it was the sweat dripping into me,

the wonderful way you kissed me

or the lovingness of your embrace but I fell right there and I don’t wanna be caught, you see,

you couldn’t see me as I was, standing there between good and evil wanting to choose power for me

and watching it walk off down a corridor named fate and you seemed to be at the end of it and took it walking back to me and placing it in my hands surely,

 my legs shook now where my peak could not take me

and I heard myself screaming for that touch, why would you touch me, me,

I’m not what you expected me to be

and this isn’t the hour for this kinda thing like in a house, a planted tree,

 but it cut me like a sword and instead of closing my arms, I let it cover me,

you don’t know but I hate to be consumed and you are taking ova me,

trust is not an area I often lay in, yet here I am looking into your eyes sure that you will really be there for me,

with me, people usually leave me on the face of my heart’s torn open valves bleeding,

having been taking in by kindness and cast away and down and far from my mark with their jealousy

and self-pity,

on my back weighing down upon my legs weakening my joy, an aching pain in constant seethe,

reaching out to hold the hand of God feeling the strength of your arms around me,

my mind is in a denial struck into me like lightning,

it’s like I wait for you to hate me

 just like the others yet I beg God to let me just have this one thing, just this time,

could I please have this time to breathe, 

God please,

not another noose, hook and door post to hang me!

I’m past knees and I cannot lay any lower,

I’m remembering the way you promised me,

the way life screamed lies into the face of me,

here I am dancing with you between my dreams and poverty,

 I am terrified and excited about tomorrow standing before me,

I even look forward to you in it, not just you or I but we.